Future Scenario : Pa, I am dating...

Editor's note : it has been a very long time since I have stop doing Future Scenario episodes. Future Scenario can still be found in Is Sky The Limit : Episode 3 blog. I am continuing it back in this new blog. Today's scenario is my future daughter going out on a date. Enjoy!

One fine evening after dinner, and coincidentally Uncle Bai joined my family, because his wife kick... (long story, nevermind about him), my 18 year daughter told me she was going out for a date.

Daughter : Pa, I am going out on a date...

Me : Who is this cute guy you are going out with?

Uncle Bai : Does his name has to do with anything G?

Daughter : G? ... * think think * ... no no... no G at all...

Me : ok ok... hold on... ignore Uncle Bai... ask him to see me first...

Daughter : huh... ok...

After 15 mins, the boy reached our house and came to see me as instructed...

Boy : Uncle you wanted to see me?

Me : Yes, how's your studies?

** I look up and down... this boy like one fuck ah beng who play play with girls only... Hair golden long, wear slipar, broken jeans, wear singlet with tattoos all over... KNN... **

Boy : Err... good lar...

Me : How many As you got?

Boy : Err... a lot...

Me : How many?

Boy : Err... 5...

Me : You don't sound confidence with your results, do you? Bring me your report card then only you can bring my daughter out...

Boy : But.. but... but...

Me : You want to date my daughter or not? quick fai fai get it...

Boy drove home and back with his report card...

Me : *** Browse through his report card *** You said you got lots of A... what's all this C, E, and Fs... you are trying to play play with Uncle ar... You think Uncle not edu-gay-ted is it... I am a STC, you know... tell me... what's all this C, E and F... Engrish also F... you want me to tui 9 lei iszit?

Boy : err.. err... C - Confirm Pass, E - Ek-cerrent and F - Frying Kalers...

Me : KNNCCB... fuck! You are really one jackass... You need to get As for all these subjects... Do you know what is A standing for, boy?

Boy : No idea, uncle...

Me : A is for Ass'hole... Sorry to say you can only date my daughter if you are an Ass'hole student...

Boy : **Nod his head**... but can i just take her out tonight once... cause I bought tickets and book a table for supper...

Me : KNNCCB... what supper?! Just finish dinner... what are you trying to do? Go supper late late at night... wanna kena my daughter ar??!!??... letak something in the drink and food... then bring her to some hotel ar... boy, you listen here... that kind of trick boh use anymore...

Boy : No.. no... really just supper...

Me : Then what about movie... so see see movie then half way can 'mor mor' my daughter issit? Tell me which part you want to 'mor mor'?!?!?!

Boy : No... no... just see movie...

Me : Then go see movie for what?! KNN... young boys nowadays...

Uncle Bai : Hey chill out man... let the young fehlers go out and see the world lar...

Me : ok lar... young boy boy here go date your daughter and if do the same thing also... what do you feel?

Uncle Bai : As-long-as-nothing-to-do-with-G...

Me : ok ok... but you boy... you are no Ass'hole student... pre-requisite not fulfill... go home...

Daughter : Pa... dun lar potong stim... I want to see movie also...

Me : Go find yourself an Ass'hole student first...

Boy : But uncle... uncle...

Me : Ok... i give you one last chance... where do you get money to buy movie tickets and pay for supper?

Boy : I ask from mommy...

Me : You sure your money from your mamee ar?... Boy, you go to college, university, find yourself a nice job, nice car and a nice house... then only come date my girl... go home now...

Boy : sob... sob...

Daughter : Pa I hate you...

Me : Fine, I don't like your boypren also...

Uncle Bai : girl girl nebermind... as-long-as-its-not-G... its fine...

Me : KNN... you and your G...

Daughter : Pa I hate you... Ma, can i go dating, pleeeasssseeee?

Mrs William : Can... please provide 2 potostat copies of his IC, driving lesen, parents mobile no, and 2 written emails of consent softcopy and hardcopy, wait for 2 working days for approval... Pre-requisite, your pa wants to see Ass'hole result... so ask that candidate to wait in queue or take a number... By the way, you sure your money is from your mader ar? Your dressing tells me you like stand by the loadside sell pirated DVD only... You conpirm your money is legit ar? Moreover, if application pass, I want MYR ONE POINT SEVEN as wedding dowry, and 50 wedding dinner tables each in Labuan, Sabah and Sarawak... oh, i forgot Ipoh also...

Uncle Bai and Me : Wah... Ka-Ni-Neh!!!

william wilstroth... boypren... date? can... please submit candidacy application form...