Wifesoft Inc - Part 3

The guy felt frustrated and dissappointed with other day's response from Wifesoft Inc 1.0 so he went out shopping for the software. Along the Liao Yet Plaza, he found this flyer. Hey, I got to story tell a bit, right, just to get this final part of my story Wifesoft Inc.

Yes, that poor guy went to Liao Yet Plaza to look for software and he saw a flyer like below :

Ok, I am done wasting my precious brain cells...

I hope you have enjoy my story...

william wilstroth... come come... murah murah... beli 5 percuma 1

Wifesoft Inc - Part 2

Here's another made up response from me as Wifesoft Inc to my previous enquiry.



Customer Care Wifesoft Inc,
Wifesoft Inc,
YY Techsoft Spouse Technology Park,
YY City,
YY Country



RE : Violation of Installation Mistress 1.0



Dear valued customer,



We are happy to get feedback from you for using our software Wifesoft Inc 1.0. In regards to your enquiry, we do not manufacture Mistress 1.0 and we do not acknowledged this software usage as it conflicts with our Matrimonial Law Inspection Logic.

For your information, we are receiving complaints of corrupted software Wifesoft 1.0 when customers installed software Mistress 1.0. Wifesoft 1.0 is the core operating software, kindly to remind our valued customers, and its primary registries and secondary ROM updates occupies all your system's memory. Any illegal, unwanted, additional installation not of Wifesoft Inc will force your system to go into a black screen state.

Previously, customer may still be able to use the system after Mistress 1.0 installation but with the current new 'Black Screen' operation, we are forced to black out all user's screen. I hope that you as our valued customer will not install that software.

As of last year, we no longer provide free support Wifesoft crisis due to Mistress 1.0 installation. However, we do provide the following services :

1. Emergency Wifesoft 1.0 Resucsitation Support for a minimal fee of USD 5000.
2. Emergency Wifesoft 1.0 Separation Scheme for a minimal fee of USD 50,000.
3. Emergency Wifesoft 1.0 Black Screen Rescue for each time USD 5000.

You might want to register yourself for below Wifesoft 1.0 protection:

1. Wifesoft 1.0 Viral Protection for a minimal fee of USD 5000.
2. Wifesoft 1.0 Spywife for a minimal fee of USD 5000

It has been a pleasure serving you as our valued customer.


Yours Sincerely



Customer Care Wifesoft Inc
1900-88-WIFE


william wilstroth... Wifesoft response

Wifesoft Inc - Part 1

It's Sunday and I want to spend some of my brain's cell. Yes, you heard me right, I want to spend some time writing something for you guys, males with schlong.... pronounced as shhh...long.... Here you are:

(Put Your Name Here)
XX Street XX
XX City
XX Country



Customer Care Wifesoft Inc,
Wifesoft Inc
YY Techsoft Spouse Technology Park
YY City
YY Country



Dear Wifesoft Inc,

I have been using software Wife 1.0 with patches 10.9.9 for almost 5 years now. I had been following your updates and hot fixes regularly too. I am very impressed with its processor too albeit some instability in Emotion-X 1.0.0, ExpendAll 2.0.0, FoodTaste 9.9.9 and Bed-SX-Romp 3.9.1. However, as of late i noticed some of my friends is using this so-called new Mistress 1.0 and they seemed very satisfied and happy about using it.

Hence, I would like to know if there is further updates to the current software Wife 1.0 in comparison to this new Mistress 1.0. Moreover, it would be kind of Wifesoft Inc to send me some information about this new Mistress 1.0.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Thank you in advance.

Yours Sincerely,



___________________
(Sign Your Name Here)


william wilstroth... wifesoft enquiry

Please don't watch too much TVB drama...

One evening at the living room watching TVB drama:



Ms Knitter : Ayo... the father come...

Mrs William : Yeah lor... marah this time...



Mr William : ** Observing them and the drama **



The drama had a few episodes about the father's daughter falling in love with a guy who is even older than the father. Furthermore, this courting old ah pek has an elder son but I am thinking his wife had passed away long time ago. Then, the episode showed the girl's father got pissed off when he found out the guy was way much older than him. He stormed off from the restaurant after a few minutes of beh tahan.



Mr William : Haiyo... if I am the father, I will go home lar... Come on lar, that ah pek is so old... older than me... If my daughter next time date a very old guy, older than me, I will get crazy too!



Mrs William : Eh, low kung... this ah pek very rich leh...

Ms Knitter : Yeah lar... very rich wan... what if your daughter marries Pak Lah...



Mr William : Ptui! Pak Lah... -____-"

Mrs William : Yeah lar... an old ah pek like Pak Lah... some more he is a PM wor... you don't prejudice old men ok?



Mr William : I am going to sleep... you girls selamat menonton!





william wilstroth... old men, young girls, wedding, young father-in-law, one word called fark

Driving... the bad and the good...

Driving in Penang Island can be a challenge at times. I think driving in Penang is like a weather. Some days you meet some bad ass mother farkers. Some days you meet really nice courteous drivers. When I say bad ass mother farkers, these drivers are dead serious ass holes. My wife who doesn't drive at all do notice these bad drivers.



Scene 1 : Cars which doesn't stop at junctions
These drivers doesn't stop at junctions, proceed and turn without thinking of other drivers' safety. These drivers usually has large amount of return from their insurance investment. So to them it is live and let die.



Mrs William : WTF!?!?!



Scene 2 : Cars which drives at the middle of the road

These drivers seem delirious with their driving. They could not decide if they want either the left or the right lane. So being so undecided with their mind, or blurr, they decided to drive the middle lane. These drivers will clog both lanes and other drivers will have swerve left or right just to avoid them. They are so delirious that they are afraid one of the lane will smash their car.



Mrs William : Ooi! WTF... you alzheimer ar?! Masuk left... masuk lar... WTF?!?!?! Ooi!



Scene 3 : Cars which overtake near your car
These drivers normally has problem deducing how far is far when it comes to overtaking other drivers. Or, their alignment has gone way out. Or, another reason is that they have some kind of magnet that actually steers their car towards other people's car. They just cannot overtake people safely in a safe distance. Or probably they wanted people to know that their are driving one farking nice Proton Satria. I do not know, most of the time drivers who overtake me in an unsafe distance are Potong Sucktria. I don't discriminate Sucktria but most of its drivers had problem overtaking other people safely.



Mrs William : You crazy arsehole... in a hurry to get birth certificate ar?!?!?! Siao!!!



Scene 4 : Cars which speed up if you want to turn
I find this bad behavior of speed up deliberately at other turning cars incultivated among our Malaysian drivers. When they see someone puts a signal to turn, they speed up! Until today I am still trying to see the rationale behind of speeding up behind drivers who are about to turn or cross over. The only thing I can think about these drivers are selfish. I do not see a problem why one cannot slow down and let a poor bugger to turn into their lane. Let the poor bugger turn, you are not going to get to your destination faster. You might or probably still need to stop at a traffic light.



Mrs William : Eh, the farker's car got no brake ar?



Scene 5 : Cars which don't brake
Please brake if you find cars who are slow, cars who are turning, cars about to turn into your lane, cars who are turning into a junction. Is the brake that difficult to press?



Mrs William : That guy's brake gone liao... i think his spindle (ass) also loose oredy... boh control... shit directly...



Scene 6 : P drivers who think they are smart

Fark, I seem these P drivers many times. I farkingly hated them because they screwed up other drivers' safety. They will do all the dangerous and stupid stunts. I wonder how they got their P. Yeah, I can imagine their young, hot blooded and adrenaline rush after getting their P license. Damn, I am feel happy if they ever crash into one bad arse mother fucker who will rip their lungs out.



Mr William : * fark - a Myvi knock behind *
Young specky with spiky hair : * got shock *



Mr William : You! Come out!
Young specky with spiky hair : Sorry... sorry... I didn't see...



Mr William : You didn't see?! You were on the phone when I looked at the rear window.
Young specky with spiky hair : Sorry... sorry... I didn't see...



Mr William : So how now? Pay or how?
Young specky with spiky hair : Sorry... Sorry...



Mr William : Pay lar... how much you got...
Young specky with spiky hair : how much you want?



Mr William : I want 300 lar...
Young specky with spiky hair : wah ... expensive lar...



Mr William : Then don't drive and speak phone lar... so now how? You bang people wor...
Young specky with spiky hair : I know... I'm sorry... real sorry



Mr William : * Haih... koyak... thank god my bumper no scratch * OK lar... I want your phone...
Young specky with spiky hair : har?! what?!



Mr William : Next time don't speak and drive ok?
Young specky with spiky hair : ok ok... sorry sorry...



Adibah Noor's advertisement is a good reminder to all Malaysian to drive safely. Yet I think Malaysian drivers' ears and eyes are deaf and blind. Adibah Noor's advertisement should also stressed on young drivers too. Younger drivers are more reckless than adults. Adults, well, are more stubborn...



William Wilstroth... drive safely... why bother... Malaysian drivers sometime don't listen at all...

My BMW... bought with credit card

It was a moment to behold and I was so happy that I am holding a key to the car above. The sales agent was at my house. Can't you believe it? He personally sent the car to my house in Ipoh!

Mr SA : Thank you Mr Yau. Here is the car manual, spare car keys and a membership package to BMW club. Please sign here... ** pointing at the receipt **
Mr William : Wow... ok... ** Sign... sign... **

Mr SA : Ok... everything's done... I'll be going now... and enjoy your new car.... ** he left through the main door **
Mr William : woooooooooh..... !!! ** Doing the RAIN DANCE **

Suddenly...

Mr William : Eh... wait a minute... who pay for the car??!!

However, the sales agent was no longer there. I went through the box that he gave me. I can't find the receipt anywhere. I remember I did not buy any new car at all. Who had pay for me? Then at that moment, my dad walked in with joy because he saw a new car parked next to his Livina...

Mr Snr Yau : Wow... you bought that car out there?
Mr William : Yeah...

Mr Snr Yau : Wow... my son is capable... good... very good...
Mr William : ** I was looking at the car key **

You know, the car key has the BMW insignia and I felt good. It was a very good feeling! I'd never had that kind of feeling so long since I got hold of exam results. It's strange.

Mr William : oh shit... I think I just sign the credit card bill... please don't tell me that I sign it with my credit card... oh god...

Alarm clock : teet... teet... teet... teet... teet... teet... teet... teet... teet...



** Poof **


Mr William : ** woke up **.... thank god... just a dream... otherwise how am I going to explain to Mrs William!

Thank god, it was a dream. But, it was a good dream. A real good dream. But *&*%^&$%^$^#%$@#!#$, I used my credit card to buy that car in my dream...

Geeze...

william wilstroth... I swipe credit card to buy BMW

Ahoy busy days...

With the coming days, the list on his hand is full:

1. Deepa coming means extra day at home.
2. After Deepa is wedding bell rings.
3. If the wedding bell rings means there's a plane to catch.

With his brain so excited, how could he sleep?